Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Canine Menace

I was in a store the other day, and there was a woman in there with a dog on a leash. I looked around searching for chew toys, dried pig ears, or pretty much anything that would indicate that I was in fact, in a pet store. Alas, I found naught but video games and screaming kids, indicating that I was in ye olde videogamme store. I made sure to check the signs outside as I left, and sure enough, it prohibited pets except for Seeing Eye dogs.

Stores generally don’t allow dogs for a few reasons. They don’t want dogs using the store as their personal bathrooms of course, and they don’t want pet dander stirring up anyone’s allergies if they can help it, but they’re also concerned about the unpredictability of animals. If there’s a loud noise, or if some person who isn’t paying attention steps on the dog’s tail, that dog may go apeshit because that’s what dogs, and other animals do.

I don’t mind dogs, but I sometimes hate their owners. Some dog owners don’t seem to realize that they are responsible for the actions of their dogs. Yes, you have to clean up your dog’s poop, and if your dog bites someone, you’re going to have to be the one to pay. Animal owners used to be content in having to tie their dogs, cats, komodo dragons, and other assorted animals up outside, but then some broad messed it up.


Ever found a facial expression that really works for you in pictures?

One day, a spoiled woman by the name of Paris Hilton decided that she needed a fashion accessory. She found the cutest little dog and decided that this was the perfect thing to take everywhere with her. She decided that it was perfectly cool to take her cute little dog with her into any store if she carried it in her arms. Impressionable women all over America decided this was the cool thing to do, and now you see women with toy dogs in one arm, and a purse in the other. Sometimes they have large purses with toy dogs in them.

Dogs are not fashion accessories. In fact, no living animal is. A dog kept as a fashion accessory won’t be trained, and a lot of toy dogs are high-strung. This means that they can cause a lot of trouble inside of a store. A hyper kid is going to try to play with one of these dogs and get a face ripped off! Being attacked by a Yorkshire Terrier, or a Chihuahua is not something you want people knowing about. Even trained, mellow dogs can be a problem under the right circumstances, and it would suck if one started running through a store knocking over cans, eating people, etc. Worst of all, you just know that the owner of a dog that goes apeshit in a store will refuse to take responsibility for the dog’s actions.

So in conclusion, Paris Hilton is a skanky ho (ha! Cheal shot!), and keep your pets outside, unless it’s a parrot because pirate-related paraphernalia rocks.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home