On Attractiveness
I know quite a few people that claim not to be attracted to particular features. Let’s take an imaginary example, Guy.
For pretty much his whole life he was surrounded by nothing but blondes. Those of us who know him speculate that because he saw so few brunettes over his entire life, he just assumed he wouldn’t like any of them. One day he had the displeasure of finding a brunette woman he actually did find attractive. He won a gold medal in mental gymnastics the year this happened. Instead of coming to the realization that he wasn’t attracted to any of the brunette women he had seen in the past regardless of their hair color, he started to believe that he was attracted to this woman in spite of her being a brunette. He wound up going out with her on several occasions, but he ruined everything one day.
Have you ever been told “Hey, I like you even though you’re a brunette”? Anna has. Let’s take a look at the statement: Guy did say he liked her. That’s always good. The problem comes from the “though you’re a brunette” part. We often say more than we intend to. Guy was saying that he liked this girl even though he found some aspect of her unattractive. Anna dumped him because he kept bringing it up. No one likes to hear something about them is ugly.
An odd story, Let’s look at the story again with different facts:
For pretty much his whole life he was surrounded by nothing but people who could walk. Those of us who know him speculate that because he saw so few paraplegics over his entire life, he just assumed he wouldn’t like any of them. One day he had the displeasure of finding a paraplegic woman he actually did find attractive. He won a gold medal in mental gymnastics the year this happened. Instead of coming to the realization that he wasn’t attracted to any of the paraplegic women he had seen in the past regardless of their ability to walk, he started to believe that he was attracted to this woman in spite of her being a paraplegic. He wound up going out with her on several occasions, but he ruined everything one day.
Have you ever been told “Hey, I like you even though you’re a paraplegic”? Anna has. Let’s take a look at the statement: Guy did say he liked her. That’s always good. The problem comes from the “though you’re a paraplegic” part. We often say more than we intend to. Guy was saying that he liked this girl even though he found her inability to walk unattractive. Anna dumped him because he kept bringing it up. No one likes to hear something about them is ugly.
In both cases Guy decided that he didn’t like a particular feature. There’s nothing wrong with finding a person attractive or not, but Guy made his decisions based on one particular feature. When presented with the idea that the feature wasn’t the dealbreaker he thought it was, he ignored it and worse yet he destroyed a relationship.
Just something to think about. Be open to the idea that perhaps you don’t have a well-defined type.
posted by SumThing @ 8:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home