Insert Insight Here...

Chocolate, Bacon, Cheese, and Guns

I subscribe to the theory that either bacon, chocolate, or cheese can be added to any dish to make it taste better. Think of any dish, and there isn't any possible way that one of those 3 items won't make it better.

A long time ago, someone decided that shooting enhanced every sport, thus the second weirdest Winter Olympics game, the biathlon, was born. The biathlon is a combination of skiing and shooting, and it's every bit as odd as it sounds.

The Biathlon goes something like this: first you do some cross-country skiing, then you stop and shoot a rifle at a target 50m away. Ski some more, shoot some more, ski some more, and then stop when you realize that you're actually in a contest comprised of skiing and shooting, but not at the same time. And that's the real problem with the biathlon; it seems so forced. 500m freestyle swimming and archery makes as much sense.

Another skiing event would make it much better. In my perfect world, the biathlon would involve the ski jump. You would have the shoot targets on the way down, and each hit would add additional feet to your final jump score. After you landed, you would mock the people who came up with the idea of cross-country skiing and shooting as an Olympic sport, and have a nice hot cup of chocolate with cheese and bacon in it.

posted by SumThing @ 5:46 PM