Weddings
It’s been a long time since I posted. I blame the economy.
Weddings are an interesting thing. I understand why people don’t like going to weddings. It seems that the stereotypical American wedding is filled with ritual designed to bore the crap out of everyone but the person getting married. This includes the reception, which seems always has crappy music, or uptight people, or both. But it’s very difficult to get out of going to one since you’re essentially being invited to share in the happiest moment of someone’s life (except for when they sign the divorce papers in a couple of years).
So I went to a wedding last night, and I think I should share some observations with y’all:
- You will save money by having your wedding on Friday, and you will also filter out people whom you only sent invitations to out of obligation.
- You can tell how much the bride cares about her guests by the quality of the food served at the reception. The food last night was great and plentiful, so the bride had some actual concern about her guests. When there is little food and it’s crappy, the bride hate you and everyone else in attendance, or she’s selfish.
- The uglier the wedding cake, the better it tastes. Don’t buy a wedding cake because it looks nice.
- Side boob is always fun to look at, and there’s plenty of it at weddings.
- Your guests will never…ever care as much about your wedding as much as you do.
- Consider having a cash bar if your guests can’t control themselves around good, free alcohol.
- Weddings are like Spanish Fly for single women. You will get to dance with plenty of women around your own age, if you want to but…
- Consider breaking a leg when the drunken 60-year-old coworker wants to dance with you.
- Just smile and wish to die when a slow song comes on and she starts holding you very, very tightly.
So it was a somewhat strange experience, but a fun time was had by all, I suppose...
posted by SumThing @ 8:50 AM
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