About My Angus...
The latest battle in the burger wars is being fought on the anguses of of poor cows across America.
Angus Beef is a special kind of beef with an odd name. The marketers for Jack in the Box have an interesting commentary:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svt1bVEpDoY&mode=related&search=There's really no beating that, so what did Carl's Jr do? They are going to sue!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18894390/ Sometimes you just have to accept that you got beat fair and square.
On Rejection
I like to browse
Bash.org and read the quotes. Sometimes they're disturbingly insighful. Tip for the ladies: if you have a male friend and you're not interested in him, don't mention what a great guy he is. That's not helpful. Say he's ugly, or say that he's not a great guy. It's one of the areas in a man's life where he really wants an honest answer, not matter how ugly it may be.
Bash.org has a great explanation:
DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.
http://www.bash.org/?414593
God Hates a Lot of Things Apparently
There was a time where I would begin a post like this with the phrase "For the 3 of you that have been under a rock", but it seems that a lot of people don’t pay any attention to the news, so... For those of you that don’t know, Jerry Falwell, the man who blamed 9/11 on the feminists, the ACLU and the pagans, the man who accused a Teletubbie of being gay, the man who claimed AIDS is a punishment from God for being gay, and the man who questioned the motivations of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. because of his leftist associations (equal rights are inherently communist), has died.
As one opinion article said, Mr. Falwell will be quite surprised to see who also made it to heaven (yes, I’m talking the high road). In case you’re wondering why his death is significant, Mr Falwell did a horrible, horrible thing and was instrumental in turning evangelical Christians into a powerful voting bloc. Democracy sucks sometimes.
Not everyone is taking the high road on Mr Falwell’s death though. It seems that another "holy man" didn’t like him very much. Fred Phelps, head of the Westboro Baptist Church, Creator of
www.godhatesfags.com and
www.godhatesmaerica.com, protestor at gay funerals, the funeral of Mr. Rogers (yes, the beautiful day in the neighborhood guy), and all around bag of shit, will be protesting at Mr. Falwell’s funeral. I’m really hoping that a good fight breaks out. Hate is an interesting thing.
Economics and These Emails I Get
A friend sent me an email reminding me that I’m supposed to fight the man on the 15th by not buying gas. I love my friends, and everyone knows I love fighting the man, but I feel that sometimes people don’t spend enough time fighting out how to fight the man. For those of you that didn’t have to take Economics, I’ll explain.
The idea of behind not buying gas is that the oil companies will see all of the people decide not to buy gas on the 15th, and they will have to lower their prices, or else people will continue to not buy gas, and they will not have a sellable product.
The general idea is sound. Under ideal conditions, buying less of a product will cause the price to drop in response. The only problem with gas purchasing is that it’s never under ideal conditions for the consumer. Consumers cannot quickly change their gas purchasing habits. The people who do not buy Gas on the 15th will buy it on the 14th, or the 16th not necessarily because they want to, but because they have to. On top of that, many people will just accept the higher gas prices and continue their gas consumption habits. To a certain extent, it’s like a diabetic protesting the price of insulin by not buying any for a day. The oil companies know you’ll be back soon.
So maybe the best way to fight the man is by purchasing a nice gasoline hybrid made by the largest automaker in the world, Toyota. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Good News!
Good news everyone! I’ve just received another job offer in Hyderabad. It turns out that my unique talents are very much in demand in India. Normally I wouldn’t consider a job in India, but after winning the UK Lottery for the second time this year, I think I need to explore the world, but first, I need to hire the A-Team to save some royalty in Nigeria. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems. I love the internet
Dear R. Kelly
Dear Mr. Kelly, I would like to thank you for the years of entertainment I’ve had at your expense. Sure, the Chapelle show parodies were hilarious, and who can ever forget that memorable episode of the Boondocks, but I must say that my most memorable experience was when I was in my CIS class reading the news on my PDA and I read that you would not be allowed to associate with Michael Jackson. That’s still funny to this day. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and you will eventually be put on trial for having sex with an underage girl, on camera. Even worse, you engaged in the sorta thing that would make the Germans proud. Alas, the golden shower on an underage girl makes you
that guy. Let’s hope your trial starts soon so we can find out more juicy tidbits about your life. I’d love to hear that all of your dirtiest songs were written to some underage girl you were smitten with, but who rejected your advances.
Enjoy your time in prison. It will give you a lot of time to write.
Coachellaness...
I went to Coachella this past weekend. Pictures here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27839045@N00/sets/72157600162505101/It was double-plus-one awesome. I always think that I’m going to be cool whenever I see Bjork in concert and it won’t be a big deal, but when she gets on stage, I’m so happy that I’m speechless.
My three music recommendations are CSS, Regina Spektor, and Explosions in the Sky. Also, if you’re Regina Spektor and you’re reading this, msg me. Also, Explosions in the Sky will ROCK YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!!11ONE. Thanks to ‘nette-nette (she doesn’t know I’ve been calling her this in my mind for months) for telling me to see them) for the recommendation.
Labels: Coachella
